Life Lessons to teach my Kids

Tips to make housework less of a chore

 

Getting housework done can seem totally impossible now that you have a baby. While the first 12 weeks of new parent hood is probably the most challenging time of your life, living in a chaotic living space at the same time will make it much more difficult to cope! Here are some little tips to help you contain the mess.

1) Pre-baby Spring clean

Before baby arrives, use your nesting energy to have a big clean out. A clutter free home is MUCH easier to keep tidy.

2) Invest in some storage

Large clear plastic tubs with lids are invaluable in sorting excess toys, clothes that are too big and too small (for both mum and baby!).  Before you buy them, measure your storage cupboard to make sure they fit! Use a marker pen to label them clearly.

3) Use your networks

If a friend or family member says "just let me know what I can do to help" they actually mean it. So ask! A simple "Actually would you please turn the washing on for me?" or "Could you please watch the baby for 10 minutes while I put the washing out" is all you need to say. Mothers, sisters and best mates are probably the easiest to ask without feeling like you are a pest.

4) Get your older kids to help

Even a toddler can help do some simple dusting, or run their toys to their room. Try to make tidying a race or a game with afternoon tea as a prize at the end. Encourage your kids to put away one game before they start with another.

5) Use a baby carrier

A sling, or Moby wrap or a front pack are wonderful when you need to get a few things done but baby needs mummy time. This is great for vacuuming, getting groceries or folding washing. Some skilled mamma's even manage to feed while baby hangs out in a sling.
Tip: Avoid spraying nasty chemicals or hanging upside down while baby is being carried.

6) Don't waste your time

Instead of constantly tiding and going backwards and forwards all day, use a washing basket or similar and put things that need to go away into it. Then at the end of the day carry it room to room putting away things (or better yet, get someone else to do it!).
When folding washing take a little more time to have a pile for each drawer for each person, this makes putting away so much easier.

7) Get things done as you can

There's no rule that says you have to clean your house all one one day, all before lunch. Complete a few cleaning tasks each day to get housework done while still leaving you plenty of time for bonding with your newborn. For example: make Monday fold washing day, vacuum on Wednesday, shop on Thursday etc, this allows you to ignore it until then, knowing you have a time set aside for it.

8) Use the noise of the vacuum to help baby sleep.

Secure your newborn into a bouncer seat or bassinet and let the sounds of the vacuum send him off to sleep, Hopefully he'll get a good rest while within eyesight while you accomplish some household chores!

9) Spray and walk away
Spray your kitchen and bathroom down with white vingar and leave it for a while, when you go back the grime will have broken down and a simple wipe with a microfibre cloth and you are done!

10) Employ a cleaner

For busy mums who aren't comfortable accepting help from friends and family, consider hiring help. Paying a cleaning service to take care of household chores will let you focus on bonding with your newborn without the guilt of letting friends and family pitch in when there are chores to do.

At the end of the day, people come to see you (and baby) not your house, and most of us live day-to-day in more mess than we would like you to know. So RELAX and spend some time on you and baby, after all no one ever wishes they had spend more time cleaning and less time with their baby!

Real Advice for New Parents

Becoming a parent for the first time is exciting. It is also quite scarey. Some of the stories people kindly share would terrify even the bravest of souls. But there is no love without pain, and no win without sacrifice and every single parent I know, given the choice, would do it all again in a heartbeat. The little people that we love so unconditionally are very very much worth it!

Here is some advice from those that have been there and done that:

Said by a wise not-quite-old man (my Dad)

Be realistic

 

Children WILL change your life. You may think right now that nothing much will change. It will defiantly change, significantly. You can lug them around in a capsule to all your social engagements for a while, but this won't work forever. But it is good change, embrace it.

Your life for the next two years (per child) will feel similar to a constant hangover. Don't worry, go with it, even try to enjoy it - it will get better. Try to enjoy that 2am (and 3am and 4am...) snuggle, there will come a time when you kinda wish you still got them.

 

"Don't sweat any of it. The small stuff or the big stuff. Humans have been raising babies for hundreds of thousands of years. No matter what people tell you, there is no one best way to do it. An abundance of love, gentleness and care (for yourselves and for baby) will see you right." - Stacey Wilson mum of 3

 

 

As long as both you and your little ones are in clean-ish clothes (seriously unless they have covered head to toe in spaghetti sauce, a little  juice on their front is no worries), they are fed (always keep snacks on hand - fruit, jelly, yogurt, cheese), happy and healthy you are doing great as a parent.

 

Practical tips

Buy a truckload of facecloths - they are invaluable at cleaning pretty much anything off of everything.

When getting bibs, get good quality thick ones, preferably with domes rather than valcro. Valcro wreaks havoc in the washing machine.

If you use cloth nappies, always do the valcro up before washing them! (see above)

Holding a child throwing a tantrum is much easier side on (yes, yours will do it too, probably in a busy supermarket, when you are in a hurry to get home), you wear less kicks to the groin and they can't hit you in the face so easily. This also works carrying a screamer who won't hold your hand across the road.

Buy a drop-sided cot for your first child so that you can still reach in to get them out when you are pregnant with the next (assuming having the first hasn't put you off).

Keep a box of tissues handy in every room to mop up nasty spillages.

Keep all your nappy creams well out of the reach of toddlers at all times. Sudo-cream and carpet DO NOT MIX.

Do it your way

"You will know a multitude of great parents who give you heaps of great advice and suggestions. ....and it will all conflict with each other. They are still great parents and so will you be. Your baby will grow up - they will not remember whether you breast fed or bottle, used disposables or cloth, fed to sleep or self settled- they will remember you love them and cared for them- always have and always will." - Letitia McRodden mum of 2

You will be on the receiving end of all kinds of advice, the best idea is to smile sweetly, nod politely and go and do things exactly how you want to. Mum knows best. Unfortunately this may include conflicting advice from health professionals. Usually this just means there are several options that will work, pick one and stick at it for a while.

If your baby will only sleep on you, or with you or be rocked or fed to sleep. THAT'S OK! most of us do this anyway, we just don't tell everyone because it is seen as the wrong thing to do. I don't know why we hide it, it's instinctive and it is what most indigenous cultures have done for thousands of years, but now some  researcher says we shouldn't and it is now seen as being the worst thing to do.

If you bed share, learn to do it safely and drop the guilt.

If you bottle feed, learn to do it safely and drop the guilt.

If you have to leave your baby to scream in the cot, so you can go outside and calm down for a few minutes so you don't shake the living daylights out of it because you haven't slept at all for 48 hours and it is still not asleep, do it safely and drop the guilt.

Also remember you can ring the Plunket helpline! 0800 933 922 for pretty much anything.

 

Doctors, nurses and others don't know everything. They are human too, you know your baby the best, if you think something is wrong and no one is listening to you, keep asking, keep getting others to look until you are satisfied. Follow your instincts, you have them for a reason :-)

Wise words

Love them a lot. Say it often.

Enjoy all the snuggles and cuddles you can get.

Keep a book or box of special things, their first hat, or shoes, funny things they say and do, you will forget them.

Let them climb things, jump off things and generally play. Let them get dirty and don't sterilise everything around them. Generally kids know their own limits and won't do what they can't do. Some germs are good to grow a strong immune system.

No one on their death bed ever said "I wish I spent more time in the office" - don't regret placing your children above your career.

Set strong boundaries when it comes to expected behaviour, manners, responsibility and safety. Then let them play within these bounds. Try not to say no too often.

Kids are all gifted, some just take a little longer to unwrap it! Don't rush them and don't compare, they will get there in the end. If you are genuinely concerned, check with your doctor.

Get your first aid certificate in infant and child CPR, heaven hopes you never have to use it, but the 10-20 minutes it takes an ambulance to get there may be too late for a fragile little life. Arm yourself with some knowledge and skills and don't be afraid to use them!

 

If anyone offers you a cooked meal, folded washing or ironing, or babysitting so you can have a nap - Never say no.

In the first few months try and get outside everyday, even if it is just to the letterbox or around the block. Fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for altering your perspective and helping your outlook.

 

Never underestimate the power of sleep deprivation. It can turn the most pleasant of persons into a raging crazy-person.

If you feel yourself slipping, and unable to cope -  please, please don't try and go it alone. Ask for help. Ask your partner, siblings, parents, friends, neighbour, health visitor or Plunket line. Ask anyone that will listen. Parenting can be hard, and it mostly works out in the wash. But get some support if you need it, we all want to see you succeed!

Perfectly Pink Princess Party

My eldest 'baby' turned 5 last weekend. As a girly girly girl she of course wanted a pink princess party. How I managed to get two girly girls, I will never know! I have learnt to embrace the pink and the frills and the dancing and to go with it. Here is a summary of her big day:

Pink, Pink and more Pink (and white, and gold)

 

I find parties much easier to plan for with a colour theme, pick one or two colours and go for it. This year miss princess wanted pink, white and gold. Easter eggs in a glass preserving jar added a little sparkle.

 

Cupcakes!

 

 

My best friend is awesome at bringing a plate to add to the offerings, it makes for one less thing that I have to make. This year it was a plate of mini cupcakes. She makes the most delicious cupcakes! We added a few mini white chocolate crowns and some silver balls and it became a plate to serve a princess.

 

Personalised Cookies

 



 

I love icing cookies! This is a simple sugar biscuit made a few days ahead of time, iced with royal icing.

 

Jelly Time

 



 

What is a party without jelly? I made a double batch, with 1/2 a cup less water and set it in a lined cake tin, then its not too tricky to cut into squares and sprinkle with sparkles.

 

Princess Tiara Cake

 



 

I love making cakes, the white chocolate crown was fun to make, however it was pretty scary trying to get it off the baking paper! The bottom is iced with marshmallow fondant, much tastier than bought fondant, and quite a bit cheaper to make! I used Pascal marshmallows, they made nice soft icing.

 

Pink Roses, Pink Juice, Pink Everthing

 



 

The girls got a little tiara each on their plates to take home. The plastic roses were a warehouse bargain and the little milk bottles I got from a glass wholesaler.

 

 

We played a simple round of pass the parcel (known in our house as "castle-castle" thanks to miss 3's  mis-interpretation of the words) and a hunt-for-the-chocolate bars in the garden. Other than that the kids just played in the lounge. This was also the first time we have held a party over lunchtime (11-1). It was great, they were all gone by 1.30 and I wasn't up until midnight cleaning and tidying up, and we got to spend the afternoon playing with her new toys. Miss 5 really enjoyed her party, in fact her exact words were "that was my best day EVER!" I encourage you to go out of your comfort zone with parties, try something you have never tried before, you only get each party once, make it memorable.

20 Great Baby Shower Gifts that make life Easier

 

 

Baby showers are a lot of fun. It is an exciting time that friends and family get together to celebrate the beautiful new life that will be earth-side soon.
The biggest problem I always have is finding a good gift! Below are some of the newest and ingenious baby and parenting products I have found. The wonders of Internet shopping is you are not limited to what you can buy locally. Many of these products are, however, NZ designed and NZ made.

1) A swaddle or wrap (or two)

 

www.itibaby.co.nz

Get a large sized one, made of all natural fabrics - merino, cotton or bamboo. Get one with stretch, and anything under 95cm square is pretty well useless for swaddling properly, so save mummy some frustration and get her a goody!

2) Contour Burp Cloths

 

http://www.kiwiindustries.com/proddetail.php?prod=B_BPDPTDS

Fashion need not be ruined by streams of baby spew down a new mummy's back, get her one of these contoured burp cloths.

3) Kai Carrier


 

http://www.kaicarrier.co.nz/shop.html#!/~/product/category=0&id=27711960


The innovative multi-use reusable Kiwi food pouch, Kai Carriers are fun and environmentally friendly!

4) Sippy Strap with Suction Cup

 

http://www.etsy.com/listing/102789007/bottle-tether-toy-tether-sippy-strap

 

All kids go through the "throw it all on the floor" stage at one point or another, this will save a mothers floor, her sippy cups and her sanity!

 5) Hold Me Close Nursing Scarf

http://www.etsy.com/nz/listing/130048641/ready-to-ship-hold-me-close-nursing

 

Super fashionable and very handy to have when a new mum is out and about! It will make her confident to feed anywhere.

 

6) The Baby Shusher

 

http://www.babyshusher.com/index.php/products/baby-shusher.html



Safely calms the baby down with a rhythmic “shushing” sound, for the times she just can't go "SHHHH" any more!

7) Gentle Battery-Operated Nail Trimmer

http://www.hipbabygear.com/Buzz-B-battery-operated-nail-trimmer-by-ZoLi_p_1702.html

 It safely trims nails with a gentle yet effective oscillating action. The cushioned pads are specially designed for baby's nails so it won't harm surrounding skin.


8) A Sibling Ride-a-Long Board

 

http://www.hipbabygear.com/Stokke-Xplory-Rider-Sibling-Board_p_1118.html

This handy gadget attaches to the axle of your pushchair and allows an older kid to jump on for a ride when their legs inevitably get tired.

9) On-the-Go Changing Mat

 

http://www.quirky.com/products/141-toob-baby-changing-station/timeline

Handy and portable for when you are out and about, protecting the baby from the floor, and the floor from baby!

10) The Safe Sippy

 

http://www.mumiandbubi.co.nz/safesippy2.htm

Invented by a kiwi mum, the BEST drink bottle we have ever bought! You can even buy spare parts.

11) Solids starter Kit

 

http://www.mumiandbubi.co.nz/solidsstarterkit.htm

Help the mum-to-be save hundreds of dollars by making her own baby food!

12)The Travelling Crib

 

http://travelheroes.no/b2c_no/Servlet?page=11&parent=sD117&sort=10&anr=RO855000

Sheer genius! Unfortunately its European, so shipping will be extravagant!

13) Good Quality bibs

 

http://www.littlekiwis.co.nz/#!bibs/c1gim

Good quality bibs will last and last. They need to be large, thick and well constructed!

14) Reusable breast pads

 

http://www.breastmates.co.nz/shop-management/products/h/breastmates-breast-pads-(multipack).aspx?cat=8900

Whether mum to be plans to breastfeed or not, these will come in very handy for those leaky days.

15) Clip-on Cami

 

http://www.breastmates.co.nz/shop-management/products/f/clip-on-cami-(colours).aspx?cat=8925

Turn any maternity bra into a feeding singlet. Great idea!

16) A ring sling or moby carrier

 

http://kiwibabyshop.com/products/easycare-wrap-conversion-ring-sling-with-sbp-shoulder

For the unsettled baby nothing works better than a sling or wrap carrier! Buy quality and it will last for many children.

17) Felted Soap

http://www.itibaby.co.nz/#!felted-soap/c1fdg

What better gift is there than an infant soap and cloth all in one!

18) Baby Kauri Teething Peg

 

http://www.cleverbastards.co.nz/the-store/kids/baby-kauri-teething-peg/36940

A NZ made keepsake handcrafted & a comfort for teething times to soothe sore gums.

19) A Personal Assistant kit

http://www.littleandsorted.co.nz/our-kits/

A handy little kit of everything that you can keep in your purse or car for those moments you wish you had a ....


20) An Iti Baby Giftbox

 

www.itibaby.co.nz

For those times you really can't decide, Iti Baby has you covered - quality products, great price and beautifully gift wrapped.

 

 

 

Overdue?

 

 

 

Maybe you’re tired of being pregnant and sick of being so uncomfortable. 9 months can seem like forever when you’ve been waiting for this amazing baby growing inside of you, and you really don’t want to wait any longer. Is induction crossing your mind? Is your care provider starting to suggest it for non medical reasons? Evidence that babies should be left well alone until they decide they should arrive continues to grow. This same evidence has led to the definition of 'full term" being changed from 37+ weeks to 38+ weeks and the definition of over-due or "post-term" to be moved to the full 42 weeks. What does this mean for you and your baby? Why did they bother changing the definition at all?

One recent study shows babies at 37 to 38 weeks are more likely than those born later to need time in the NICU, mechanical ventilation and IV fluids. In Australia 25% labours are induced, New Zealand's rate is very similar . The most cause for induction is a ‘post date pregnancy'.

What is a post dates pregnancy?

• Term (as in a ‘normal’ and healthy gestation period): is from 38 weeks to 42 weeks.
• Post dates: the pregnancy has continued beyond the decided due date ie. is over 40 weeks.
• Post term: the pregnancy has continued beyond term ie. 42+ weeks

Why don't we wait?

• Myth: After 42 weeks the placenta starts to "shut down" - there is no evidence to support this notion.
• Myth: Baby's head will grow too big to fit out - there is no evidence to support this theory and babies are pretty good at finding their way out of their mothers expandable pelvis.

However to pretend their are no risks associated with prolonged pregnancy is not helpful for women trying to make decisions about their options. These general risks should be part of the information a woman uses to decide what is best for her. Before labour begins the uterus and cervix need to make physiological changes ready to respond to contractions. It is now thought that the baby is the controller of the labour ‘on’ switch. So, the baby signals to the mother that he/she is ready, oxytocin is released and labour begins.

Before jumping at the chance of "getting this baby out of here" please do some reading, and find out the facts about induction first. I had and induced birth, and I had a natural one. I would take the natural one hands down every time. But there is a time and a place for induction (my first labour I was very unwell with pre-eclampsia) and they can be life saving, but they are not without risk.

Talk with your midwife and see what they suggest, there may be some more gentle natural options you can try first.

Take care,

For further reading on the subject