Coping with Colic

I have heard a lot of new parents struggling with babies with 'colic' in the last few weeks. I thought it was about time for a colic blog post.

Both my babies had classic colic, and the second one had silent reflux as well. NOT A FUN TIME!

Colic is defined as: Unexplained crying for 3 or more hours a day, for 3 or more days a week, for 3 or more weeks.

What this really means is life is miserable! There is no known cause (though there are A LOT of theories) and there is no real treatment available. Colic typically starts around 3 weeks of age and seems to be gone again by 14 weeks. Leaving the longest 11 weeks of your life in the middle. 

It is often assumed that colicky babies are in some kind of pain, as they are not relieved by the comforts of feeding and holding, often writhe and grunt, may start and stop their screaming very abruptly, and have a shrill cry that resembles the sound they make when they are in pain, they are often said to 'pull up' their legs while crying.

 

One of the compelling reasons why colic is NOT something parents have to put up with or accept is that in a number of cultures, colic is virtually absent.

 

What causes colic?

 

Over the years many explanations have been put forward about the cause of colic. Common explanations have included that colic is caused by wind, by maternal anxiety, by tummy troubles, by a baby’s sensitive temperament, or by a baby’s immature brain.  The ideas of stomach migraines and early food allergies have also been thrown around. While there is an element of truth in all of these explanations, none of them fully explain colicky behaviour, or point to what we can do to calm a colicky baby.

The true cause of colic is what is now often referred to as a missing '4th trimester'. Human babies (as opposed to other animals) are born before their brains are fully developed, and before they are fully ready for the world.

 

Inside the womb, a baby is very tightly bundled, she is constantly fed, she is exposed to 80-90 decibels of ‘white noise’ 24/7, and she constantly swings and jiggles about inside a sea of amniotic fluid. These are the conditions that calm a baby in the womb, and unless we make a concerted effort to replicate these conditions once a baby is born, their absence will be a cause of considerable distress to a newborn.

 

Many other cultures will carry a tightly swaddled baby in a sling carrier the whole day, and co-sleep at night. These babies are breastfed as soon as they become unsettled and are not expected to self-sooth or go with out their mother for the first 3 or more months.

 

Interestingly these cultures also do not experience colic in the way the western culture does.

 

Your baby wants to be held, she will sleep in your arms or on your chest but not in her bed, she will wake as soon as you put her down. It is a survival instinct, they are too young to sleep alone naturally. They need your warmth and comfort, all the tricks in the book are really trying to replicate you, why don't we as a society accept that maybe baby just needs some parent time?

See our Sleep and Settling page or Swaddling page for more details

If you think of the times of day your baby gets upset and try and re-look at your routine at this time of day. It is often tea time - other children are tired and hungry and need their dinner/bath/bedtime routines too, so baby gets handed to someone else or left to their own devices while mum gets dinner ready.

 

Some suggestions:

 

- Pre-prepare dinner/meals when baby is settled

 

- Enlist some help at tea time - Dad, Nana, Aunty, an older sibling or a DVD (shock horror)

 

- Put baby tightly swaddled in a bouncer or pushchair by the dinner table and keep baby moving with your feet while you eat.

 

- Sling or wrap style carriers are great - pop baby in and have two hands free to continue with what you were trying to do.

 

- Use a pacifier to help soothe baby

- Some babies find a deep, warm bath relaxing.

- If baby is unsettled it will do no harm to future sleep patterns if you spend the evening with baby napping on your chest in the lounge while you read or watch TV. In fact you will both be more relaxed and baby will probably get more sleep then trying to settle them alone in their own bed.

 

- If you choose to co-sleep it is recommended that you do so by using a 'side car' style bed - where baby has their own space.

 

http://spiritedmamadotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/bednest.jpg

Warning: Bed Sharing /co-sleeping should not be undertaken by people who smoke, have been drinking alcohol or are under the influence of drugs, these things greatly increase the risk of SIDS (cot death). Do not co-sleep on a couch or lounger chair.

 

I hope this is helpful for those out there struggling. It's not an easy time, but it does pass (like most things with babies). If you are really struggling with your crying baby, put them down somewhere safe and have a break, call for back up if need be. Kia kaha.

 

 

Real Advice for New Parents

Becoming a parent for the first time is exciting. It is also quite scarey. Some of the stories people kindly share would terrify even the bravest of souls. But there is no love without pain, and no win without sacrifice and every single parent I know, given the choice, would do it all again in a heartbeat. The little people that we love so unconditionally are very very much worth it!

Here is some advice from those that have been there and done that:

Said by a wise not-quite-old man (my Dad)

Be realistic

 

Children WILL change your life. You may think right now that nothing much will change. It will defiantly change, significantly. You can lug them around in a capsule to all your social engagements for a while, but this won't work forever. But it is good change, embrace it.

Your life for the next two years (per child) will feel similar to a constant hangover. Don't worry, go with it, even try to enjoy it - it will get better. Try to enjoy that 2am (and 3am and 4am...) snuggle, there will come a time when you kinda wish you still got them.

 

"Don't sweat any of it. The small stuff or the big stuff. Humans have been raising babies for hundreds of thousands of years. No matter what people tell you, there is no one best way to do it. An abundance of love, gentleness and care (for yourselves and for baby) will see you right." - Stacey Wilson mum of 3

 

 

As long as both you and your little ones are in clean-ish clothes (seriously unless they have covered head to toe in spaghetti sauce, a little  juice on their front is no worries), they are fed (always keep snacks on hand - fruit, jelly, yogurt, cheese), happy and healthy you are doing great as a parent.

 

Practical tips

Buy a truckload of facecloths - they are invaluable at cleaning pretty much anything off of everything.

When getting bibs, get good quality thick ones, preferably with domes rather than valcro. Valcro wreaks havoc in the washing machine.

If you use cloth nappies, always do the valcro up before washing them! (see above)

Holding a child throwing a tantrum is much easier side on (yes, yours will do it too, probably in a busy supermarket, when you are in a hurry to get home), you wear less kicks to the groin and they can't hit you in the face so easily. This also works carrying a screamer who won't hold your hand across the road.

Buy a drop-sided cot for your first child so that you can still reach in to get them out when you are pregnant with the next (assuming having the first hasn't put you off).

Keep a box of tissues handy in every room to mop up nasty spillages.

Keep all your nappy creams well out of the reach of toddlers at all times. Sudo-cream and carpet DO NOT MIX.

Do it your way

"You will know a multitude of great parents who give you heaps of great advice and suggestions. ....and it will all conflict with each other. They are still great parents and so will you be. Your baby will grow up - they will not remember whether you breast fed or bottle, used disposables or cloth, fed to sleep or self settled- they will remember you love them and cared for them- always have and always will." - Letitia McRodden mum of 2

You will be on the receiving end of all kinds of advice, the best idea is to smile sweetly, nod politely and go and do things exactly how you want to. Mum knows best. Unfortunately this may include conflicting advice from health professionals. Usually this just means there are several options that will work, pick one and stick at it for a while.

If your baby will only sleep on you, or with you or be rocked or fed to sleep. THAT'S OK! most of us do this anyway, we just don't tell everyone because it is seen as the wrong thing to do. I don't know why we hide it, it's instinctive and it is what most indigenous cultures have done for thousands of years, but now some  researcher says we shouldn't and it is now seen as being the worst thing to do.

If you bed share, learn to do it safely and drop the guilt.

If you bottle feed, learn to do it safely and drop the guilt.

If you have to leave your baby to scream in the cot, so you can go outside and calm down for a few minutes so you don't shake the living daylights out of it because you haven't slept at all for 48 hours and it is still not asleep, do it safely and drop the guilt.

Also remember you can ring the Plunket helpline! 0800 933 922 for pretty much anything.

 

Doctors, nurses and others don't know everything. They are human too, you know your baby the best, if you think something is wrong and no one is listening to you, keep asking, keep getting others to look until you are satisfied. Follow your instincts, you have them for a reason :-)

Wise words

Love them a lot. Say it often.

Enjoy all the snuggles and cuddles you can get.

Keep a book or box of special things, their first hat, or shoes, funny things they say and do, you will forget them.

Let them climb things, jump off things and generally play. Let them get dirty and don't sterilise everything around them. Generally kids know their own limits and won't do what they can't do. Some germs are good to grow a strong immune system.

No one on their death bed ever said "I wish I spent more time in the office" - don't regret placing your children above your career.

Set strong boundaries when it comes to expected behaviour, manners, responsibility and safety. Then let them play within these bounds. Try not to say no too often.

Kids are all gifted, some just take a little longer to unwrap it! Don't rush them and don't compare, they will get there in the end. If you are genuinely concerned, check with your doctor.

Get your first aid certificate in infant and child CPR, heaven hopes you never have to use it, but the 10-20 minutes it takes an ambulance to get there may be too late for a fragile little life. Arm yourself with some knowledge and skills and don't be afraid to use them!

 

If anyone offers you a cooked meal, folded washing or ironing, or babysitting so you can have a nap - Never say no.

In the first few months try and get outside everyday, even if it is just to the letterbox or around the block. Fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for altering your perspective and helping your outlook.

 

Never underestimate the power of sleep deprivation. It can turn the most pleasant of persons into a raging crazy-person.

If you feel yourself slipping, and unable to cope -  please, please don't try and go it alone. Ask for help. Ask your partner, siblings, parents, friends, neighbour, health visitor or Plunket line. Ask anyone that will listen. Parenting can be hard, and it mostly works out in the wash. But get some support if you need it, we all want to see you succeed!

20 Great Baby Shower Gifts that make life Easier

 

 

Baby showers are a lot of fun. It is an exciting time that friends and family get together to celebrate the beautiful new life that will be earth-side soon.
The biggest problem I always have is finding a good gift! Below are some of the newest and ingenious baby and parenting products I have found. The wonders of Internet shopping is you are not limited to what you can buy locally. Many of these products are, however, NZ designed and NZ made.

1) A swaddle or wrap (or two)

 

www.itibaby.co.nz

Get a large sized one, made of all natural fabrics - merino, cotton or bamboo. Get one with stretch, and anything under 95cm square is pretty well useless for swaddling properly, so save mummy some frustration and get her a goody!

2) Contour Burp Cloths

 

http://www.kiwiindustries.com/proddetail.php?prod=B_BPDPTDS

Fashion need not be ruined by streams of baby spew down a new mummy's back, get her one of these contoured burp cloths.

3) Kai Carrier


 

http://www.kaicarrier.co.nz/shop.html#!/~/product/category=0&id=27711960


The innovative multi-use reusable Kiwi food pouch, Kai Carriers are fun and environmentally friendly!

4) Sippy Strap with Suction Cup

 

http://www.etsy.com/listing/102789007/bottle-tether-toy-tether-sippy-strap

 

All kids go through the "throw it all on the floor" stage at one point or another, this will save a mothers floor, her sippy cups and her sanity!

 5) Hold Me Close Nursing Scarf

http://www.etsy.com/nz/listing/130048641/ready-to-ship-hold-me-close-nursing

 

Super fashionable and very handy to have when a new mum is out and about! It will make her confident to feed anywhere.

 

6) The Baby Shusher

 

http://www.babyshusher.com/index.php/products/baby-shusher.html



Safely calms the baby down with a rhythmic “shushing” sound, for the times she just can't go "SHHHH" any more!

7) Gentle Battery-Operated Nail Trimmer

http://www.hipbabygear.com/Buzz-B-battery-operated-nail-trimmer-by-ZoLi_p_1702.html

 It safely trims nails with a gentle yet effective oscillating action. The cushioned pads are specially designed for baby's nails so it won't harm surrounding skin.


8) A Sibling Ride-a-Long Board

 

http://www.hipbabygear.com/Stokke-Xplory-Rider-Sibling-Board_p_1118.html

This handy gadget attaches to the axle of your pushchair and allows an older kid to jump on for a ride when their legs inevitably get tired.

9) On-the-Go Changing Mat

 

http://www.quirky.com/products/141-toob-baby-changing-station/timeline

Handy and portable for when you are out and about, protecting the baby from the floor, and the floor from baby!

10) The Safe Sippy

 

http://www.mumiandbubi.co.nz/safesippy2.htm

Invented by a kiwi mum, the BEST drink bottle we have ever bought! You can even buy spare parts.

11) Solids starter Kit

 

http://www.mumiandbubi.co.nz/solidsstarterkit.htm

Help the mum-to-be save hundreds of dollars by making her own baby food!

12)The Travelling Crib

 

http://travelheroes.no/b2c_no/Servlet?page=11&parent=sD117&sort=10&anr=RO855000

Sheer genius! Unfortunately its European, so shipping will be extravagant!

13) Good Quality bibs

 

http://www.littlekiwis.co.nz/#!bibs/c1gim

Good quality bibs will last and last. They need to be large, thick and well constructed!

14) Reusable breast pads

 

http://www.breastmates.co.nz/shop-management/products/h/breastmates-breast-pads-(multipack).aspx?cat=8900

Whether mum to be plans to breastfeed or not, these will come in very handy for those leaky days.

15) Clip-on Cami

 

http://www.breastmates.co.nz/shop-management/products/f/clip-on-cami-(colours).aspx?cat=8925

Turn any maternity bra into a feeding singlet. Great idea!

16) A ring sling or moby carrier

 

http://kiwibabyshop.com/products/easycare-wrap-conversion-ring-sling-with-sbp-shoulder

For the unsettled baby nothing works better than a sling or wrap carrier! Buy quality and it will last for many children.

17) Felted Soap

http://www.itibaby.co.nz/#!felted-soap/c1fdg

What better gift is there than an infant soap and cloth all in one!

18) Baby Kauri Teething Peg

 

http://www.cleverbastards.co.nz/the-store/kids/baby-kauri-teething-peg/36940

A NZ made keepsake handcrafted & a comfort for teething times to soothe sore gums.

19) A Personal Assistant kit

http://www.littleandsorted.co.nz/our-kits/

A handy little kit of everything that you can keep in your purse or car for those moments you wish you had a ....


20) An Iti Baby Giftbox

 

www.itibaby.co.nz

For those times you really can't decide, Iti Baby has you covered - quality products, great price and beautifully gift wrapped.

 

 

 

Tips for home made baby food

Home made apple, pear and strawberry puree.

Making your own homemade baby food is much easier and cheaper than many think, and can be quick to prepare with a little planning.  By creating your own portion sizes you cut down on waste and unused food from cans or jars. Also, you have the ability to control every single ingredient that goes into your child’s mouth.  You can create endless flavor combinations of fruits, veggies, and meats.

Weaning your baby on to solids is full of well meaning advice, and do's, don'ts and varying opinions and trends. At the end of the day there really is no "right" way to do it. The World Health Organisation recommends that babies only start solids at 6 months, but a week or two is unlikely to make a difference one way or the other. If you have major food allergies in your family it is best to wait to introduce those foods until baby is over 1. In the Iti Baby Household we avoid grains for our babies as they cannot properly digest them until they are over one.

Your baby is likely to be ready to try solids when:

• Your child has good head and neck control.
• Your child is able to sit well with little or no support.
• When you put a bottle or spoon in front of your child they show interest by opening their mouths or trying to reach for the object.

Coming up with your own combinations of foods can be a lot of fun, but if you are running short of ideas, have a look at the cans of baby food at the supermarket, and make your own versions of similar combinations.  It isn’t imperative that one type of food be introduced before the other, but there are a few recommendations that may help the process go smoothly.

1)     Introduce vegetables first. The idea behind this is that your child may be less willing to give vegetables a chance after discovering the sweet flavors of the fruit.

2) Try starting baby with soft cooked egg yolk with small amounts of vegetables. Egg yolks are very nutritious and easy to digest.

3) Mix meat/bone broth in with vegetables right from the beginning, they contain iron and minerals in very accessible forms.

4)     Prepare and serve foods plain, do not add any additional sugar, salt, or seasonings.

Preparing the food

Before you start, some food safety!

• Always wash your hands prior to preparing any foods.
• Work on a clean surface with clean equipment, cooking utensils and a clean storage container
• Never cross contaminate surfaces by cutting vegetables or fruits on the same surface on which you previously cut raw meat.

The easiest way to prepare fruit or veges is in a pot (or microwave) with a little water. This will completely cook the foods, and will also aide in breaking them down making it easier for your baby to digest them.

1) Select your vege/fruit - try to get organic, local food if possible. Try combinations like broccoli and peas, sweet potato/kumara and carrot, pumpkin and sweet corn, apple and apricot, pear and blackberries.

2) Wash, peel, chop your vegetables or fruit in to 1.5cm cubes or there abouts. You can do this in small amounts fresh each meal while you prepare the rest of the families dinner, or you can do it in bulk ie a bag of apples at once, a whole pumpkin at once etc and freeze for later.

3) Place in a pot with 2cm water in the bottom and cook until the food is soft - 10-20 minutes.

4) Now you have two choices - to go the finger food/ baby lead weaning way, or the more traditional puree way. For finger food, let the food cool and plop it in front of baby and let them go for it. For puree add a little butter, breast milk, coconut oil, bone/meat broth or vege cooking water and mash with a fork, puree in a food processor or use a stick blender.

5) If your food is pureed, storing it in covered ice cube trays (or for larger portions use silicone muffin tins) and pop into the freezer. This is great if you are doing a whole lot of one type of vegetable at once, then you can grab one cube of broccoli, one of pumpkin and one of kumara, defrost and mix together with ease. It is also easy to defrost a little more if baby is still hungry!

Tip for defrosting: Be careful using the microwave, is leaves hot spots in the food, so if you do use it, stir, stir, stir well and leave it to sit for a few minutes before serving. To avoid the microwave, heat the food in a bowl over a pot of hot water.

Making Bone Broth:
 

Making bone broth is very easy and incredibly nutritious. It contains minerals from the bone, soothing fats (for nerve and brain growth) and gelatin (for the immune system) from the meat and connective tissue, protein from the meat and the all important iron.

Choose chicken frames or beef shin bones. Add these to a deep pot or slow cooker with plenty of water. Babies don't need additional salt or seasoning, but you may like to add some chopped carrots or celery for additional nutrients.

Put over a slow - medium heat and simmer slowly for many many hours (at least 3, up to 24). Check the water level regularly and top up as required. When finished, strain the liquid in to ice cube trays and freeze. Once frozen, tip out into a labelled zip-lock bag and store in the freezer. These can then be added to sauces, and baby's food.

Home made baby food is much much cheaper, tastier and more nutritious than bought preserved food. Give it a go! Baby doesn't know conventional food combinations, so feel free to experiment!

What is the best first food for baby?

What's wrong with baby cereal? To digest grain your body needs to produce amylase. Babies don't make amylase until they are somewhere between 1 and 2 years of age. Traditional cultures don’t feed their babies infant cereal (AKA baby rice). Among the few cultures who fed their babies a gruel of grains, their practise radically differed from what we do today. They are only introduced after the baby was more than a year old. Also they ensure that the gruel was mildly fermented by soaking the grains for 24 hours or more, making them much easier to digest.

Why does this matter? Surely they just go straight through them undigested then? Unfortunately, no.

 

“All Diseases Begin in the Gut.”- Hippocrates

 

Undigested grains can wreak havoc on your baby’s intestinal lining. It can cause an imbalance of bacteria in their gut which then can lead to lots of complications as they age including: food allergies, behavioural problems, mood issues, and more. Is it any wonder these allergic conditions are on the rise in the west?

 

Cereals have very little nutritional content compared with other foods. They are predominately carbohydrate and fibre, with very little nutrients, fats or protein. When you have a limited belly space and high nutrient requirements, these should really be the priority.

 

Giving babies empty calories in the form of cereal instead of real food takes away from what they should be eating.

 

What should we feed our babies then? For the first 6 or so months breast milk or a suitable formula is all they need. After that try:

• Offering small amounts of boiled yolk from pasture fed free-range hens is an ideal first food. Avoid the white as it contains hard to digest proteins that can set off allergies.
• Bananas are one of the rare carbohydrate foods that actually contain amylase which makes them easier to digest.
• Steamed vegetables mashed or cut into sticks.
• Butter and coconut oil mashed into vegetables or egg yolks. Babies need plenty of saturated fats to ensure they have enough building blocks to make brain cells, their nervous system, and cell membranes as well as supplying energy.
• Liver and meat. Babies need the iron and protein provided by meat and liver. Liver  is best stored in the freezer (raw) and simply grated into hot vegetables.
• Bone broth contains soothing collagen and many minerals from the bones. The bone broth is ideal to cook vegetables in or to mash them with. Simply simmer bones for 5 or more hours to get the minerals out of the bones. Chicken frames are ideal for this. The soft meat can then be fed to baby too.

If you have already weaned your baby on to cereals it is not too late to swap what they are eating, going for more natural, nutrient rich foods. Your baby will thank you for it.